The Sons of Feral Sods (Feral Sods Anthology) by Ron Reaser

Author:Ron Reaser [Reaser, Ron]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Bloodcinder Press
Published: 2013-12-26T20:00:00+00:00

2 ✠ Jack’s Couch

Thursday, May 6, 2010

I’m awake. I’m not sure if I actually slept last night. I feel drained, and I feel like my internal clock is off, like when you take a nap too late in the afternoon or evening and it throws you off for the rest of the day. That must have been some kind of alcohol or food poisoning. I’ve never had such a lifelike dream before nor one that left me so exhausted.

Today I have to balance my finances. I have a stack of bills on the counter, dividend reports, photo shoot invoices, and the like that I need to handle. I work because I like to work and I feel worthless if I don’t. I have more money than I will ever want. My inheritance is all invested in good stocks. I don’t really understand any of it, but my investment advisor does. I could support my humble lifestyle for the rest of my life on dividends alone, but I would feel like a bum.

So I shove most of the excess into charity and try to actually earn the portion of my funds that I live off of. I suppose I’m giving back, in a way. I’m not the only one who lost family members on that day. I’m not the only one who lost parents, and I’m an adult. I can take care of myself. Orphaned children cannot, and if my money can help them, then I’ve done something to help right the injustice. Plus I don’t actually have to have anything to do with them. I get to pay for their wellbeing without ever having to experience them. I consider caring for children from a great distance to be an ideal scenario.

This afternoon, I will shoot a child’s birthday party. I hate birthday parties more than I hate weddings. I can’t relate to children, because they cannot communicate at a level that I appreciate. I guess they are a necessary evil, though, because who else is going to sew my shoes or assemble my cameras in a foreign land? I think it’s easy to dislike kids when you’re gay. You’re never going to accidentally have one, so you don’t have to psych yourself up with reasons to like them. You can just ask yourself whether you like kids or not and feel free to answer honestly. Some guys do and some don’t. I think I would make a bad father, and that’s the end of it for me.

* * *

It’s hour two of the birthday party. I’m about to rip my beard out. These are the most unruly children I have ever seen. The mother believes that her kid and all of these other swine are expressive, important little people. I believe they are the perfect size for punting through windows, and I am tempted to test this belief very soon.

Except for one. She is shy, and she stays near the periphery of the debacle. She smiles, and she is polite, and she shares, and the other kids don’t like her, so she is by herself.

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